The Gift of the Winds...

[Jason Hiller]

Jason frowned a little at the lack of enthusiasm in Zeph's reply, and lifted his head to look at him. "Is everything okay?"

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph felt himself tremble a little, and he turned his head to put his face against Jason's chest.

"I don't know how to talk about it," he said, his voice muffled. It wouldn't go away, the odd ache... one he hadn't felt since... since that time he really really didn't want to think about. At least it didn't hurt that badly this time. He wanted to talk about it... he just didn't know how to put it in words.

[Jason Hiller]

"Take your time," Jason said soothingly, feeling Zeph trembling and sensing that this was something Zeph needed to talk about, even if he couldn't find a way to express it. He rubbed Zeph's back some more, looking down at him quietly.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph nodded, trying to put his thoughts into words. He took a deep breath, his head still on Jason's chest.

"When you kiss me like that it... it makes me want to... do things. But I don't want to... do those things because every time I do something bad happens... to the relationship, I mean. Aritha moved... when we decided but didn't actually... go through with it. Hyakinthos... that month he left me. Fleur too. And you just... are so irresistible that I don't want to do anything to risk losing you and I don't... want... I just... Jason... I..."

He felt himself start to shake again and pressed his face into Jason's chest. One hand had a fistful of his shirt, and was tight. He wasn't trying to cry... He didn't see why he might, but there was a wetness gathering in his eyes. His nose was starting to hurt from being pressed into Jason's breastbone and he finally turned his head again, trying to narrow his focus to the beat beneath his ear. It didn't work; the ache in his own chest continued, though he might have managed to get his thoughts across to Jason. He hoped he had... he had no other way to say it.

[Jason Hiller]

Jason wrapped his arms around Zeph and held him close in silence, taking in what Zeph had told him. He wasn't really ready to... do things... yet, regardless of how much he loved Zeph, and loved being with him. Kissing was the most he had ever felt compelled to do, at this point at least.

He fought against rising memories of his own past, but soon decided to put them into words. Zeph would appreciate him being as honest as he had been.

"I understand," he said quietly. "I love you, and I love being with you, but I'm not ready to... do anything yet. I'm not sure when I will be. I had a boyfriend once, named Hunter... he left me for another guy just because I was shy about doing that with him. He said he needed more than I was willing to offer. I don't want our relationship to be like that... I love you more than anyone. I'm just... not ready for some things. Is... is that okay?"

He drew a shaky breath; Zeph's strong grip on his shirt was making it hard for his lungs to expand. His eyes were burning, and he fought the urge to cry. What would become of them now?

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph forced himself to relax a little, though that meant a few tears escaped his eyes. He wiped them away, still cuddling Jason. "I'm not ready either... Not really. It's just... well, partly it's frustrating.... and... almost painful in a way... to want and not to want, you know? I just wanted to see how you felt... I am more than willing to wait until you are ready."

He let go of Jason's shirt, feeling... better. To know how Jason felt, and to have an actual... decision, rather than just avoiding the issue. And seeing as this could have been the best time if they'd felt ready... now had probably been a good time to both affirm they weren't ready.

[Jason Hiller]

Jason nodded, his whole body relaxing as relief flooded through him. Zeph wasn't going to leave him. He drew a deeper breath as Zeph let go of his shirt, then let it out slowly before he spoke. "Well... I'm glad we could both be honest with each other. I feel a lot better."

He lay there in silence, glad for the simple reality of Zeph's presence with him, and the knowledge that they were still together. Nothing had changed, which so easily could have changed with a few words.

Jason closed his eyes, another thought snaking up -- could he stand to kiss Zeph so deeply again, knowing the kind of urges it brought on? Hormones were powerful things, often far stronger than logic. And in certain situations they had the power to make or break relationships -- as surely Zeph knew all too well.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph nodded, his eyes closed. "I do too."

He paused, realizing how tense Jason had gotten, and looked up at his boyfriend. "You thought I was going to leave you like that Hunter did, didn't you? Haven't I promised not to leave you for something so... trivial?" He reached up, putting a hand on Jason's cheek. Gently kissing his chin, which was all he could reach without shifting, he put his head on Jason's chest again.

"I love you more than enough to wait, Jason. I can't imagine not having you with me... I've been so afraid you were going to be scared off by my family, especially after my mother... Why would I risk our relationship like that?"

[Jason Hiller]

Jason opened his eyes, looking down at Zeph with a smile. "You wouldn't. I'm sorry... I shouldn't doubt you like that. I know you'd never hurt me. And I'd never hurt you." He craned his head downward, kissing the nearest part of Zeph that his mouth could reach, short of his neck breaking.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Intentionally Zeph thought softly. "We both have reasons to fear, Jason. What might be most remarkable is that after so long, we're still together."

He shifted so that he could kiss Jason better, though he didn't allow it to become much more than a peck. Not at the moment... Putting his head back on Jason's shoulder, he sighed. "We need to be careful, though... like always. I won't leave you like that, Jason. I promise."

[Jason Hiller]

Jason nodded, one hand shifting to grasp Zeph's and squeeze it gently. "I trust you." He had no reason at all not to. But, he agreed silently, they did need to watch their step.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph yawned, rolling his eyes. "And right after all that angst I'm sleepy. Maybe it is magical."

He poked Jason in the side, chuckling a little. "This is your fault."

[Jason Hiller]

Jason laughed. "Yeah, yeah. Mea culpa and all that." He snuggled closer to Zeph, kissing his forehead. "You're just so cute when you're tired."

[Zephyros Aetai]

"Less cute when I'm asleep," he mumbled, yawning. Closing his eyes, he cuddled close and tried not to fall asleep. "I guess... going to..." his voice trailed off and he yawned before finishing his sentence, "the carnival will have to wait. It's better after nightfall anyway."

[Jason Hiller]

Jason grinned. "Either way, I'm sure we'll both have fun." He tried not to fall asleep as well, but knew from experience that it was practically inevitable. He gave a contented sigh, giving in to gentle slumber.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph woke just as the sun was setting, the room filled with a muted red from the sunset. He stretched carefully, coming fully awake as his hand hit an unfamiliar wall. Looking around, it took him a moment to realize where he was. Sighing, he wrapped his arms around Jason's middle, his head still on the werewolf's chest.

"Care to wake for me, Jason? Now would be the perfect time to go..." he said softly. If Jason didn't wake with such a soft request, then Zeph was going to let him sleep.

[Jason Hiller]

"Mm?" Jason stirred a little at Zeph's voice, frowning as he tried to wake up. He blinked his eyes open and frowned in confusion, not recognizing where he was for a moment. Remembering, he relaxed and smiled. "How long as I asleep?"

[Zephyros Aetai]

"As long as I was," Zeph teased, pushing himself up and kissing Jason. "I need a shower before we go to the carnival. We should sleep with the window open."

He pulled away, almost slipping and ending up on the floor for a moment before catching himself. "Woo... and something to eat, it looks like. Would you like something brought up for us?"

[Jason Hiller]

"That would be good," Jason nodded, propping himself up on one elbow. "But maybe you should sit down if you feel like you're going to fall over."

[Zephyros Aetai]

"Now that I'm up, I'm fine. What would you like?" he asked, though he moved to sit next to Jason... nearer the phone than he had been. Ordering was going to be done in Greek, which meant him. He ran his fingers through his hair, wrinkling his nose as he felt the sweat that had dried in his hair. Ew, salt.

[Jason Hiller]

"Hmm..." Jason thought for a moment, then made a decision. "I feel like having a BLC -- that's a bacon, lettuce and cucumber sandwich. No mayonnaise, extra honey mustard." He grinned. "One of my friends back in Germany got me hooked on them."

[Zephyros Aetai]

"That's... interesting..." Zeph said softly, giving Jason a curious look. "I'm going to be bad and have some yogurt."

And prevent any sort of... discomfort like that for now he thought to himself. He called room service, giving them specific orders to keep his food separate from Jason's. Thinking, he added some fruit for the two of them, then put the phone back on the hook. He pulled out a bit of cash, pressing it into Jason's palm.

"If it comes while I am in the shower, then give the man this. It's a tip; the food was included in the price of the room. And if the man tries to tell you otherwise... that is if he speaks English... tell him that he can sent the bill to Mrs. Aetai."

He kissed Jason's cheek and stood, heading to the bathroom. He paused, looking at Jason, "Unless you'd rather take a shower first?"

[Jason Hiller]

"You go ahead; I can wait," Jason smiled, sitting up properly and making himself a little more comfortable on the bed. His elbow was starting to hurt.

[Zephyros Aetai]

Zeph nodded, slipping into the bathroom and closing the door. He quickly washed his hair, not bothering to bask in the heat like he normally would. Stepping out with the towel in his hair... and in his shorts, though he hadn't pulled his shirt back on, he sat on the other bed and brushed his hair out once he'd gotten it mostly dry.

The food hadn't gotten there yet, which at least meant Jason hadn't been forced to deal with a man who might not share a language with him. He smiled at his boyfriend... suddenly feeling unsure. He shook it off in irritation. They were still together, and they both still wanted to be together, so he had no reason to feel like this wasn't working. It had been a year, why suddenly now did he feel these things?

[Jason Hiller]

Jason smiled, giving Zeph an appreciative once-over as he stood up and moved past him into the bathroom. He took a little more time in the shower than he meant to, enjoying the heat of the water. He emerged wearing his shirt and shorts, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. He sat down on the far bed next to Zeph and dug a hairbrush out of his bag, running it through his hair and glancing over at his boyfriend.

He looked up suddenly at a knock on the door. "Oo, here comes food."