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Post by Alex Meriweather on Jan 4, 2010 23:07:50 GMT -5
"I-" Alex began to speak, but only managed a long yawn. "Mmh. I think I'm falling off my sugar high. Sleep soon... when do we leave again?"
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on Jan 5, 2010 0:20:10 GMT -5
"It's...Saturday, right?" he asked. "We leave Monday morning, and we'll be there for a week." He closed his eyes, leaning his head against Alex's shoulder. He was beginning to feel a bit tired himself. It was nearly ten when they left the dance... It might have been getting close to midnight now.
Hitoshi drew light circles on Alex's forearms. "Your skin is cold," he murmured.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on Jan 5, 2010 0:22:10 GMT -5
"Mmh, is it?" He rubbed his arm. "I haven't been cold since we left. I should change for bed and get under the covers."
He looked at Hitoshi like he was going to say something, then shook his head and hopped up.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on Jan 5, 2010 0:39:06 GMT -5
Hitoshi looked after Alex wistfully for a moment, then brushed it off.
He set the shogi/chess set on the floor and opened the cookbook to the first page, beginning to read the introduction.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 1:01:08 GMT -5
---
(This section occurs sometime in late March.)
Rather than sticking around and talking to his friends as he usually did, Alex went back to his dorm early after classes, choking down the fluttering feeling he'd felt for the past couple of days. He'd thought about this very hard, and it served no purpose to delay it any longer except to increase tensions and possibly make things very awkward.
Whether this was the right choice or not was... almost not relevant, really. How would he know?
He slid off his sandals, sat down on the bed, and took out a textbook to do some of his homework before Hitoshi came in. Useful distractions would help calm him...
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 1:28:50 GMT -5
Hitoshi's stomach felt like it was weighed down with lead. It had been several days since he and Alex had fought, and they were still hardly talking. He'd been waffling back and forth between apologizing -- whether he felt he was right or not -- and just attempting to wait it out and hope that things would just go back to normal.
Hitoshi took the long way back to his dorm, around the library and up the stairs on the opposite end of the school, to give himself time to think.
He nudged the door open with his shoulder, his math textbook clutched tightly in his arms. He forced a smile. "Hey," he said.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 1:31:46 GMT -5
Alex looked up from his book and smiled softly, though a feeling of dread rose in him as he realized it was time to face the music. "Hi."
He took a breath and continued. He'd spent most of yesterday rehearsing ways this could go. "So... how are your classes? Do you think you're going to be busy tonight?"
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 1:50:32 GMT -5
Hitoshi felt his stomach tighten. "Fine," he replied coolly. "And not as far as I know, at least."
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 1:54:27 GMT -5
Alex nodded and sat the book back down.
"Uhm." He really did enjoy Hitoshi's company. He did. Just, not... "Can we talk?"
He kept his face as neutral and pleasant as he possibly could, but for the first time in a long time, he could feel his composure cracking at the edges.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 2:09:09 GMT -5
Hitoshi tensed, but he closed the door behind him and dropped his things on his bed. He could feel that there was something wrong, and he came close to opening up the telepathic connection. But when he looked at Alex's face, something told him that was a bad idea.
Hitoshi sat on the bed next to Alex. He wanted to kiss Alex, or hold his hand, or...something. Anything. His hands clenched on his knees.
"Sure," he murmured. He glanced at Alex out of the corner of his eyes. "What did you want to talk about?"
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 2:14:14 GMT -5
Alex rubbed his cheek and decided to let himself look away for a moment.
"You know we're friends, right? I mean, regardless of anything else, that I like you and find your company enjoyable, and that I hope you feel the same."
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 2:23:38 GMT -5
Hitoshi felt sort of like someone was twisting a knife in his gut. A part of him had already guessed what Alex was doing, but he refused to believe it until he heard it.
"What are you saying?" His throat felt dry.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 2:35:45 GMT -5
"I'm saying... a lot of things..." Now that he was too far to turn back, all the embarrassment and fear had sort of drained into a pit, and he felt nothing at all, but Alex couldn't quite look at Hitoshi, no matter how much he tried.
"But the short version, I guess, is that I'm immature, you're immature, I don't think either of us know what we're doing, and... I can't really do this, I think. Uhm." His throat began to close up. This wasn't quite what he'd planned to say. His plans were way more eloquent, and had involved keeping Hitoshi's comprehension of the situation at more of an arm's reach until he'd had time to lay out his arguments. "I... just don't know how I feel."
His voice faded. He wasn't quite sure how to continue, or if he should.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 2:42:44 GMT -5
"Are you..." Hitoshi stared at Alex as if he were searching for something. "Are you...breaking up with me?" His voice sounded hollow.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 2:47:35 GMT -5
Alex nodded quietly.
"Hate to... there is no better way to do this, is there," he said flatly, wondering if this had already given him some kind of hint. A sigh forced its way through him before he noticed it coming.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 2:58:53 GMT -5
There were about a dozen things Hitoshi wanted to ask all at once, like what the hell he'd done, if he did anything at all, or if there was someone else, or how the hell could Alex sit there and act like he was doing them a favor when he was the one who pulled Hitoshi out of his pleasant, isolated little bubble and forced him to give a damn in the first place?
"Oh," he said numbly. "Okay. Is that all?" He couldn't bring himself to say anything else.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 3:02:12 GMT -5
Alex finally managed to look at Hitoshi, if only to get some idea of how the hell to interpret that. It didn't help much, and he spent a moment thinking of how to answer Hitoshi.
"I don't know," he finally replied. "That was... pretty much the purpose of the conversation."
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 17, 2010 3:15:31 GMT -5
Alex's eyes finally met his, and Hitoshi immediately looked away. Hitoshi felt like he might throw up; the walls seemed to be pressing in around him until he couldn't breathe.
"I'll leave you alone, then," Hitoshi said. He jumped up from the bed and bolted toward the bathroom, then slammed and locked the door behind him.
Hitoshi leaned against the smooth wood of the door, staring down at the stone floor. He gripped the bracelet on his left arm, but as his fingers closed around the cold bronze, it suddenly felt heavy on his arm, and he couldn't make himself to take it off. He crumpled into the floor, not quite able to bring himself to wish he had never met Alex. The damage was done.
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Post by Alex Meriweather on May 17, 2010 3:23:33 GMT -5
Alex flomped his head down into the pillows and tried to flush his brain of whatever the hell had just happened. He didn't want to stay in here too long with Hitoshi, he wanted to give him some space, but he needed a minute.
After he no longer quite felt like screaming and/or crying, Alex stuck his book back into his backpack, slipped his sandals off, and got up to spend some time with the first group of friends he could find that didn't involve Hitomi at all. He paused at the door and considered whether to tell Hitoshi he'd be back in this evening to sleep.
...He decided against it. He wasn't even actually sure he'd be capable of seeing the boy again for a while.
The door closed softly behind him.
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Post by Hitomi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 16:44:12 GMT -5
Hitomi worried her lip gently, standing in front of the door. It was probably a selfish thought, but this entire break-up business was incredibly hard on her. Staying friends with Alex made being around Hitoshi awkward, but she liked Alex, and even if Alex was doubtful, she knew that they were good together. Maybe all Hitoshi needed was...a gentle push.
And that was precisely why she was here. She was either going to give her brother a soft nudge in the right direction, or she was going to beat him senseless until he agreed with her.
Hitomi rapped firmly on the door and hoped that her brother wasn't blaring his headphones so loud that he couldn't hear.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 16:56:13 GMT -5
Hitoshi pressed his earphones further into his ears, the earsplitting music drowning out nearly every sound. And yet, somehow, he could still hear the sharp sound of a knock at his door.
He waited a few moments, hoping that the intruder would leave, but to no avail. The knocking just got louder. Hitoshi ripped the earphones out and glared at the door as if it were the offender, and not whoever stood on the other side.
"I'm coming," he snapped, pushing himself off of the bed. "Hold on."
Hitoshi swung the door open and scowled at his sister. "Alex isn't here right now," he said, then made to shut the door.
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Post by Hitomi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 17:23:15 GMT -5
Hitomi jammed her foot in the doorway before her brother could close it, then squeezed into the room around him. "I'm not here to talk to Alex," she snapped. "I'm here to talk to you. Sit down." Hitomi shut the door and sauntered across the room, sitting cross-legged on Hitoshi's bed.
The room looked about as she'd expected it. It was rather orderly on both ends, though in very different ways. There was something cozy about Alex's that made it looked lived in. Hitoshi's side of the room looked...not quite cluttered, but cramped. Underneath his bed was stacked with books, everything from old text books to cook books to an occasional novel. A copy of The Iliad rested on the bedside table, bookmarked a little more than halfway through.
Hitoshi's side of the room had only one picture visible, but it was one Hitomi recognized fondly. A petite young woman with frizzy blonde hair sat at a table, a large chocolate cake in front of her. There were two candles on the cake, one on each side, each in the shape of the number one. There were two black haired toddlers sitting in her lap, grinning at the cake. All three of the looked happy.
"It's about Alex," Hitomi stated, though she had a feeling her brother had already figured that out.
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 17:36:45 GMT -5
Hitoshi fumed. He was in no mood to talk to his annoying, prying sister about anything, let alone Alex. He had no desire for her to start twisting the knife in his wounds with her special branding of "helping."
"I guessed as much," he said icily. He dropped onto his bed, staring at his sister. "I'm guessing you've heard everything from him, so I don't know what more I can add to it. He's not interested anymore."
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Post by Hitomi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 17:42:59 GMT -5
Hitomi gritted her teeth. Was he really that dense? "It's not that simple, Hitoshi," she said gently. "He's never had a boyfriend before, and he's worried. He doesn't know how serious you are about him, and he doesn't know how serious he is about you... You have to try to understand--"
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Post by Hitoshi Gilespi on May 20, 2010 17:47:02 GMT -5
"I understand perfectly," he snapped. Hitoshi leaned back against the headboard and reached for his iPod again. As far as he was concerned, this conversation was over.
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